I've been wandering around aimlessly for the past month or so. Not that I haven't had anything to do; I've had plenty to do. I have to finish editing my dissertation. I have some papers to write for various things. I have lesson plans to update. I have a house to clean. I have books to read. I have movies and TV shows to watch. I have scrapbooking, genealogy, and numerous hobbies to get back into.

So, it's not that I have nothing to *do*. It's more that I have nothing to *look forward to*. I had a long-term goal for a very long time, and now that I've reached it, I keep thinking, "Now what?"

I've written about this before, so I won't belabor the issue.

And I've also written about some goals that I have, but none of them seemed to be enough. I am looking for something *more*.

So I've decided to concentrate on one goal. It is a long-term goal, has many components, and will not be easy to accomplish. I want to adopt a child.

This is something I've wanted to do ever since I can remember. I have wanted to do this much more than I have wanted to get married or have "my own" (read: natural) children or even get a doctorate. So now I'm going to plan for it.

Now, this is going to take a lot more than just *wanting* to adopt. In fact, several of my other goals will have to be put into place before I can accomplish this.

First, I need to be financially stable. This means that I need to have a good job and reduce a great deal of my debt. This is going to take some time and energy, I know, but it will be great for me in many ways.

Second, I need a better place to live. Either I need to get my house all fixed up or I need to move. I would like to do both, just in case. But at any rate, I need a much better place to live. And I'll be happier once both happen.

Third, I need to be healthier. Since going on the insulin, I have learned how to control my blood sugar. I'm a lot healthier than I was a year ago, and I'm getting the care that I need. But I need to lose weight and still be even more healthy. So that means I need to start exercising. A LOT. And eating better. I know I can do it; I just need a better plan, I think.

So that's it. The Goal. This may take 3 years. Or more. But at least now I have a goal.

So last night I logged onto our business system at work, and I was in for a great shock. I was just going on there to find a student's email address. I was not prepared to learn that one of my classes was cancelled. I'm really upset for a couple of reasons.

1) That is a lot of money that I won't be earning in February and March. I was already in trouble because of the Christmas break, and now I may have to borrow money again. *sigh*

2) No one bothered to call me and tell me that my class was cancelled. Had I known earlier, I could have made plans to be away for the six days that I have off. I could have gone to Hawaii or St. Louis or Chicago or that cruise with the 4Him reunion. Couldn't someone have dropped me an email to let me know?

I'm not in a good mood right now. Grrr . . .

I've been working a lot lately, which is both good and bad. It is good because it means that my paychecks are bigger. It is bad because my evenings are tied up, I'm tired a lot, and I have this weird reverse schedule from everyone else's.

I really miss Birthday Guild a lot. I think I will be able to make party prep next month, but I don't know when I'll be able to attend another party. I was hoping to help out with Project Home and/or the gala, but people never really got back to me about that.

I'm particularly frustrated because even though I'm working A LOT, I'm not technically full time. I really do need the work, and I'm worried that I'm going to have to give up my job at Kaplan in order to make some money. I love working at Kaplan, but the small paychecks are getting really annoying.

Oddly, just as I was writing this, I read my Chinese horoscope on Facebook, and it said this . . .

You'll get a promotion if you work, or a good job if you're unemployed. Don't count on others to get your job done; buckle down to your task. The lunar influxes will help you achieve a personal project which will give you all satisfaction. Adopt a more leisurely and more regular life tempo. Your material situation might take a happy turn.
Horoscopes ©AsiaFlash Provided Courtesy of Master Rao.