If you know me, you know that I'm addicted to Bravo's Top Chef. Hey, it's food. It's people sniping at each other. It's arrogant, self-important foodies showing off their knowledge. What's not to love? So I was not surprised to learn that Top Chef has it's own drinking game. I was surprised, however, that I didn't know the rules. So when Chef Lee Anne Wong (from Season 1) blogged about it, I was eager to learn the game. Unfortunately, Lee Anne didn't tell us the rules, so I had to Google to find them. I managed to find them on another blog, where the blogger apparently did what I did. Tee hee. So here they are--the rules:

The Game

Break the group up into 2 teams--Judges vs. Contestants (or Cheftestants).

For the Judges, take one drink . . .

. . . whenever Padme says anything that she is totally unqualified to talk about. This usually ends up being anything that comes out of her mouth so be careful here. You might want to leave this one out of the game or you could end up passing out before the first commercial break.

. . . whenever Tom Colicchio makes a remark along the lines of “This is Top Chef not Top (whatever)”.

. . . whenever the guest judge happens to be a chef who’s probably not very well known outside of his cooking region. Take two drinks if he thinks he’s famous now that he’s a guest judge on Top Chef and feels the need to act like a jerk.

. . . whenever Gale Simmons mentions Food and Wine magazine, her real employer.

. . . whenever the guest judge is Anthony Bourdain. Take one additional drink for every pithy comment he says that the other judges are merely thinking.

. . . whenever head judge Tom Colicchio remarks about how he only cares about the food and not about whatever drama happens to be ensuing.

. . . whenever any judge asks a contestant what their inspiration was for the dish they’ve prepared.

For the Cheftestants, take one drink . . .

. . .whenever a cheftestant says something along the lines of “I don’t care if others don’t like me because I’m here to compete, not make friends”.

. . . whenever a cheftestant says they should have no problem with a particular challenge because it’s in their area of expertise. Two drinks if they fail the challenge.

. . . whenever a cheftestant attributes their poor performance to being so far away from family and friends. Two drinks when the show is filmed in Chicago and they happen to live in Chicago.

. . . whenever a cheftestant expresses concern that they’ve never had experience with an ingredient or appliance that anyone who’s worked in a restaurant should know how to use.

. . . whenever a cheftestant makes a “trio” of something. Two drinks if it’s a “duo” or “quartet”.

. . . whenever a cheftestant gets excessive with the adjectives in describing their dish. Two drinks if the adjectives sound like they came from a mid 1950’s copy of RedBook, such as “succulent”.

. . . whenever a cheftestant accuses another of stealing their ideas, style, ingredient, etc.

. . . whenever a cheftestant completely misses the entire point of the challenge. This includes, but is not limited to, the following: Serving poached lobster as your dish in a grilling challenge, creating an amuse for an entree challenge or using the featured ingredient as a garnish at best.

. . . whenever any plate garnish is purely decorative and inedible.

For both Cheftestants and Judges take one drink . . .

. . . whenever the product placement reaches obscene levels. Just like including Padme in the judges, this might be dangerous. Apply at your own risk.

. . . whenever all cheftestants express complete shock at finding out what a particular challenge will be. Two drinks if it’s completely unwarranted. “This challenge is cooking shrimp?! No!! I’ve never done that before!”

Since I don't really drink (for more than one reason), I don't know how soon I'll be playing this game. But it does sound like a lot of fun. I'll have to have a Top Chef party pretty soon. (If anyone is still reading my blog, remind me to post about my TC party idea.)